Mike Shea’s B-Reel | “Bad Bizness”
Mike Shea’s B-Reel is a preview for movies long forgotten in the annals of film, time and perhaps your movie queue. Like Indiana Jones, Shea will explore the film crypt to find hidden gems and discover the good, the bad and the ugly. This week: Bad Bizness.
Bad Bizness is a 2003 Jim Wynorski joint starring MASTER P, Traci BringHam, Brent Huff, and many surgically enhanced oily people. Master P plays against type as a wealthy businessman struggling to cope with the moral and fiduciary issues that arise when a series of murders occurs in one of his many hotels.
- A stripper gets killed
- A murder occurs in Master P’s hotel many many miles away from event #1
- Police Officer Traci BringHam makes an unlikely and miraculous connection between events #1 and #2
- Master P opens a police investigation, entrusting Traci BringHam and her faithful partner Brent Huff to bring the murderer to justice
- Master P sits in his office awaiting results
- Master P is like WTF is taking so long with this damn investigation?
- Master P takes a nap
- Master P is pleased with the outcome of this investigation because it means Good Bizness for him for the indefinite future
SPOILER ALERT: Tracy BringHam has just been double-crossed by her partner Brent Huff, who turns out to be the killer for whom they’ve been searching this whole time! Brent Huff is about to go all CURTAINS on Tracy BringHam when her friend The Bartender pops out from behind the bar, caps Brent Huff with his heater, and says:
BARTENDER: Happy Hour…is over.
Obviously my favorite scene is the The Bartender scene, but a close second is the opening scene of the film in which Stripper Victim #1 wobbles around in what looks like a stage set for an elementary school spelling bee. Once her routine mercifully ends, she gathers up all the cash that the scumbags in the audience chucked at her and someone has written I’M BACK YOU’RE DEAD on a $100 bill and she’s all EEEEK and you can probably guess what happens after that.
Master P has a dependable reputation for Makin’ ‘Em Say UGH, which is solely what piqued my interest in his film work. I entered this viewing experience eagerly anticipating someone or something being Made to Say UGH and I must say I was thoroughly disappointed in this department. Master P proves to be a poor UGH Saying Maker due to the fact that he’s only in Bad Bizness for like 8 minutes and in each of those minutes he is halfway across the country from where the rest of the action is taking place.
However, I was pleased to discover that Master P does not rely on his Makin’ ‘Em Say UGH talents in this film and proves to be a captivating performer nonetheless. What a delightful life Mr. P must lead in order to be offered film roles in which he is not required to perform the action that is attributed most to his success, and which is undoubtedly his most accomplished skill: a renaissance man in the truest sense. Jim Wynorski must have had a tremendous understanding of Master P’s talents to utilize his character in such a subtle and effective way. I look forward to Wynorski and Master P’s subsequent films in which they inevitably follow the Scorsese/DeNiro path to cinema royalty. And what a privilege it is to be Traci BringHam, a young preternaturally gifted makeup-wearer with a sudden opportunity to learn a thing or two about professional acting from her experienced co-stars! I can just imagine her sitting in the audition room thinking “How did I get HERE”?
As Art: F
As Entertainment: B
(Mike Shea is a freelance graphic designer/illustrator/cool guy living in Brooklyn with two cats and an esteemed lady-friend. He earned his BFA at Maryland Institute College of Art and is available for hire, but only if you want a really great end-product.)